The Time Traveler's Wife: A Review

This post includes MAJOR SPOILERS.. So if you were planning to read The Time Traveler's Wife, don't read this first. Come back and visit after you've gone through it. Let's compare notes!

I was discussing with Micah the other day that every time we see books on "MUST READ" lists and the Best Sellers tables in bookstores, how utterly disappointed we are with the content. You hear the word 'classic' and assume if this book has been read by the masses by generation after generation that there must be something vaguely interesting and enticing about the words on the pages. But the books tend to not live up to the hype a lot of the times. Granted you have to take into consideration that book taste and content evolves with the times. What was socially acceptable in 1923 may not be socially acceptable today in these tumultuous times.

Micah pointed out that it was likely a case that these lists don't even signify the quality of the books. It was probably one random person that made a list of books they liked and marketed the hell out of it and it was copied and altered slightly along the way and here we are down the line with a book in our hand that leaves you saying what the hell was that?

My process of choosing books varies. I always have the extensive Rory Gilmore Reading List to fall back on. But in my day to day scrollings on the internet or through recommendations by fellow readers or random Youtube videos that my cousin sends me, I have chosen books to read based on the amount of times a book has been listed on various lists and crossed my path. The Time Traveler's Wife was on many a list and this is how we got here.

Last night I was in my bed, curled up in a ball with Chicken snoring in the distance. I said goodnight to Micah and picked up my book in an attempt to sooth my brain into silence and eventual sleep. It backfired a bit when I found myself counting the remaining pages and just wanting to get to the end to see if the writer redeemed themselves. I finished it. Sighed. Wrote some thoughts on a sticky note I had stuck to the front cover. Went to sleep.

I keep saying I will review ALL the books I have gone through lately, especially the good ones. I clearly have failed to do so but decided to start doing so today on a rant! Granted it is not a necessarily positive rant when it comes to this book but here we go!

Let's start with the fact that this book was written very well for the most part. Audrey Niffenegger can definitely put together words in an enticing way. However, I will admit that early on in this book I picked up the phone and called Micah in OUTRAGE about the not so subtle undertones of grooming. Actually it was one of the main reasons I continued to read. (Hear me out!) It creeped me out and it was probably worse for the fact that it was written by a woman. I wanted to see if she redeemed herself through the pages of this book but 518 pages of confusion and cringe brought me to the conclusion that I do not agree with the critics who called this 'an old-fashioned love story'. I do agree that it is 'an elegy to love and loss' but we will get into that later. (For those of you who do not know what grooming is, the dictionary.com defines it as "the act or process of preparing someone to fill a position or role or to undertake an activity" OR "an act or instance of engaging in behaviors or practices intended to gradually condition or emotionally manipulate a victim over time, as through friendship, gifts, flattery, etc... in order to entrap the person in a sexually abusive or predatory relationship.")

I will give it to Henry (The Time Traveler) because his dedication and love for his wife is evident and beautiful at times. The way that this book makes you feel the emotions towards love and longing and wanting to be seen in the same light that Henry sees Clare (The Wife), is without a doubt there. The inevitable ending brought me close to tears thinking about my significant other and of ever being in a similar situation (obviously minus the time travel). There is NO doubt that Henry loved Clare. That being said..... I definitely could have done without a 36 year old man going back in time to meet his "current" wife when she was 6 years old. Popping in to say hi on specific days, leaving her pining for him. Starts out 'innocently' and he does avoid anything physical for awhile, but still ends up kissing her when she in 15 and onward and taking her virginity when she is 18 all after she has been told that in the future they are married.

I am not sure if you are a woman or a man but as a woman I can tell you that possibilities excite us. A glimpse into the future to know who I end up marrying? Sign me up! I know this isn't the case for everyone but I can almost guarantee you that the majority of women who have ever gone on a date or thought a guy was attractive or smart or funny, has tested out their first name with the guy's last name to see how it would sound. Maybe planned their entire future, vaguely and ideally of course, in their head and then was thoroughly disappointed when that funny, hot guy was aware that he was funny and hot and turned out to be a narcissist as well. Hopes shattered but hey, the name would have sounded cute.

With that in mind, imagine a strange man, who is naked upon your first encounter, tells you that he will be in the field behind your house, your own personal escape from your home life, on specific days, and tell me you wouldn't be curious or there with questions and eventually expectations. (I will give you a second to lie to yourself that you wouldn't because stranger danger and you're smarter than that and wouldn't be just pining over a man and blah blah blah..) Now remember that this girl was 6 when this first encounter happened.

So as a feminist I wasn't thrilled with the pining over a man for her ENTIRE life and how he manipulated their future together and didn't let the encounters occur naturally.

Next issue: There was a brief chapter in the beginning that casually dropped that he time travelled multiple times to visit himself and the phrase 'I'm not gay but....' was used because during his visits to himself in his teens he would explore sexual curiosities (with himself) and his dad walked in on him and himself (two male teen figures in the dark) and only because they got caught did the behavior stop. His dad didn't talk to him for awhile and then it was never mentioned again. I honestly just didn't know what to do with this information. (More of that will be covered later because multiple random things are thrown in this book willy nilly).

On to the next! Sooooo you would think that since he groomed this young lady into being his life partner that he would have gone above and beyond to ask her to marry him. Well, you are wrong if you assumed that like I did! It was the lamest, most nonchalant proposal ever. "You know that I love you, will you marry me?" Are you freaking kidding me? What in the name of fuckry is that?! I am a romantic. I am all for sentiment and don't encourage the throwing of money to show love. But especially in books and movies, I believe a bit of va-va-voom should be involved! It should be something that is envious and something that you stupidly compare your significant other to. An absurdly, ridiculous and unrealistic standard. It should not be bleh, especially under their unfortunate circumstances. My notes there were "WORST proposal ever...underwhelming..bleh"

My next two notes were positive ones.. I didn't comment on the sticky note so I would have to read back over the marked pages in order to feel the feels again. As I said, I will give Audrey Niffenegger credit for writing well. Here are some of the snippets that I enjoyed.

Clare: I am waiting for Henry to tell me that he has seen me as a child, but so far this hasn't happened. When I was a child I looked forward to seeing Henry. Every visit was an event. Now every absence is a nonevent, a subtraction, an adventure I will hear about when my adventurer materializes at my feet, bleeding or whistling, smiling or shaking. Now I am afraid when he is gone.

Clare: I finally find it about a month and twenty or so houses later. It's on Ainslie, in Lincoln Square, a red brick bungalow built in 1926. Carol pops open the key box and wrestles with the lock, and as the door opens I have an overwhelming sensation of something fitting... I walk right through to the back window, peer out at the backyard, and there's my future studio, and there's the grape arbor and as I turn around Carol looks at me inquisitively and I say, "We'll buy it."

Once again, I don't like that he manipulated their future by basically telling her oh, no this house is virtually perfect but it's not the one that we end up in... the house that is our house is perfect for our needs and has xyz and looks like xyz and the view out the back window is xyz... The house was perfect for their needs, BUT he didn't have to tell her. But the way she wrote it did make me think of my future when I will be buying a house one day with my significant other and that feeling I hope to get when the energy of the house will fit us just right.

The next quotes are cringe. My comments: 'Cringe. Ew. Yuck!' In this scene he time travels to the future. One of the few times he goes into the future instead of the past. He materializes into his future room, Clare and her current Henry are sleeping. He proceeds to wake his future Clare up with sex, ignoring the fact that his future self is sleeping next to her.

Henry: I carefully peel the sheet from her, so as not to disturb the other me, of whom Clare is still not aware. I wonder if this other self is somehow impervious to waking, but decide not to find out. I am lying on top of Clare, covering her completely with my body. I wish I could stop her from turning her head, but she will turn her head any minute now. As I penetrate Clare she looks at me and I think I don't exist and a second later she turns her head and sees me. She cries out, not loudly, and looks back at me, above her, in her. Then she remembers, accepts it, this is pretty strange but it's okay, and in this moment I love her more than life.

Cringe. Ew. Yuck!

With Clare, I do like the character. In moments I find myself thinking that we are similar in the way the we think about certain things or in her humor. Other aspects of her, I am not a fan of but overall I empathize for her.

Another random thing the author casually threw into the book is Henry getting hyperthermia during one of his time traveling episodes and having to be hospitalized in the current. Within a few paragraphs, he ends up being an amputee because of the frostbite damage. It left me confused and effected the rest of the book with his personality and attitude faltering. But just seemed like a random thing to do. Maybe it was an attempt at a plot twist? But it was so late in the story and so casual that it left me wondering why?

Oof... Strumming through this book to where I put stickies... and this one is rough. He has lost his feet already... In the middle of this book it foreshadows the suicide of his ex girlfriend. She was who he was dating when Henry and Clare finally met in the present. He broke it off with her and ended up living happily ever after with Clare. Apparently, being a time traveler you are privy to some information that isn't really pleasant, such as the death dates of people you know. I kinda expected the author to go into more detail of what happened later in the book but yikes not to this extent. She certainly did paint a scene though when Henry was very present and an intricate part of her suicide moment. The emotional tension could be cut with a butter knife because you know what is going to ultimately happen. I felt it for the girl for sure.

"Did you love me?" she asks looking down at me.

"Yes." I tell her.

"Liar," she says, and she pulls the trigger.

As a woman who dates men, I must say that I still don't understand male friendships. They leave a job or mutual place that they both attended and make claims of 'we will keep in touch' or 'if you ever need anything, call me' then proceed to not exchange phone numbers or social media or any form of communication encouraging platform. Emotions are just known and not discussed. They just exist in each other's presence and then don't need to communicate until the next encounter. It is mind-boggling to witness. So towards the end when Henry is saying his goodbyes because he knows when and how he is going to die, he says goodbye to his 'bff' and I felt sad for them but also laughed because it was such a GUY interaction.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you - I know I've been a pain in the ass every now and then, (Gomez laughs), but it's been great. (I pause, because I am on the verge of tears) It's been really great. (and we stand there, inarticulate American male creatures that we are, our breath freezing in clouds before us, all the possible words left unspoken now) and finally I say, Let's go in, and we do. As Gomez gently replaces me in the wheelchair, he embraces me for a moment, and then walks heavily away without looking back.

He says more goodbyes then he proceeds to die, gruesomely, in the middle of the New Year's party he let his wife plan (after knowing when and how he would die), in a room full of their friends and their young daughter. BRUTAL! Again, why?!

And if that wasn't bad and twisted enough, he left letters and documents for his wife for after his death. In there he proceeds to tell her to move on with her life and LIVE and not let his death be her end like the death of his mother was the end of his father's happiness. Then instead of just letting life happen again, he gives her hope and one more reason to wait for and pine after him. He writes out a scene in which they see each other again, he describes the setting, and tells her that she is old and grey and it is one of the times he time travels into the future and they get to see each other again. The book ends with her, 82 years old, waiting for him, once again, ALONE!

I was infuriated and as I feared, the author, in my opinion, did not redeem herself through a scenario that made all this make sense. The writing skills did make it interesting enough to keep me hooked and continuing to read. But, the content! Oh, the freaking content. I am angry, outraged if you will!

Oh & also, a general note: Gomez = creep & Clare = terrible friend. (Another random snippet that just didn't need to be there so casually.)

My final notes on the sticky note attached to the front cover? : 518 pages of confusion; woman pining over man - yuck!; CRINGE - grooming & Gomez; written nicely; invoked emotions about loss & fears (why are my eyes blurring the words? the answer...tears); meh ending.

I would rate this book 5/10. 7/10 for writing skills and hooking with interest/emotion (mostly anger). But the lower score is because of the themes presented in the book. Ugh. Rant over.